AGES AGO.. and what am I?

Wow, it has been forever since I have typed in a blog here. The last year and half has been one serious roller-coaster in my life. School has changed my life so much more than anyone knows. I have became so much closer to my Father in Heaven, to the point where my faith is now unshakable. But the biggest change in my life has been my hearing, I have heard so much more than I thought I ever would. I now have full blown phone conversations now, sit on the porch and listen to the birds, water fountains, my nieces laughter.. the very very simple things in life to "hearing" people. But very very valuable things to a person like me. But there is still something that bugs me.

This gets me to my next point. What am I? Am I hearing or deaf?? Both? I feel torn in between the two. Like my best friend said this evening, "I feel at home in the deaf world, but I am a completely different person in the hearing world. Man, I am bipolar!" I feel that same way. Like, no matter what, with most people in my life, I can't be who I REALLY want to be. Seems like hearing people never really understand. They get frustrated when I ask for a repeat or when I need them to look at me when they speak or talk slower. Sad things is, this applies a lot to my family. I am getting to the point where I want to give up at times, I got a cochlear implant for a reason, they don't seem as appreciative over it. But I know that they are. But at times, they can't accept my wishes of simply not wanting to wear my CI at times. Haven't they ever thought that it gets annoying to have something on your ear more than half of the 24 hours of the day? That occasionally you get a "system overload". I guess not. I hate to bring people down with this, but I am sorry, sometimes hearing people are annoying! They don't know when to shut up, but I am glad that I have the advantage to turn my ears off or else I would have already knocked out half of the people I know. And I am glad I don't like my speech so I can easily turn off my desire to say things. I am a bit... odd, don't ya think? But what I really do wonder sometimes is.. where do I belong?